Let's Get Physical!

      

LET'S GET PHYSICAL!

There I was sitting in the waiting area of the doctors office.....It was a strange feeling but for once I was at the doctors office and I wasn't pregnant! I had not been to the doctor for a physical without being pregnant in over 9 years! I know...shame on me, but in those 9 years I have had another 6 kids and well...life happened!
Back to the appointment...I was dreading the part when they would make me get on the monster of a machine that announces to the world how big your butt really is. They call me in and check my temperature and blood pressure and then she says "and how much do you weight?". Really is she really leaving it up to me? At this point I have 2 options.
Option 1: Tell them I am 120lbs and hope the older nurse with glasses can not see well and falls for it, of course there is the doctor...don't think he is going to believe that! After all he has my records and can see it says morbidly obese.....oh and he does have eyes!!! ha ha ha.
Option 2: Tell them the truth and hope the doctor says "they must have gotten this wrong, because there is no way you weight this much!". Ha ha..a girl can dream!...Here is a question?....Since when do they not weight you for a physical?
On with the physical...So I get in a room and am dreading having to wear one of those stupid paper gowns...which by the way are not made with fuller figure women in mind!...To my surprise the doctor comes in and sits down and asks how he can help me. I in my weird sense of sarcasm proceeded to list off multiple things from paying my bills to doing my laundry and say when can you have those things done! He kinda smiles but is not laughing and I say"oh you mean why did I come to the doctor?". Yeah, I really thought he would be laughing, but I went on to give him my list of almost 10 years worth of issues needing to be addressed. I don't think he could write fast enough!
He proceeds to put in consults for everything from sleep studies to the surgical clinic (to adjust a previous surgery) and a large amount of blood tests. He then says " so let me discuss with you your birth control options"...is he freaking serious...does he not remember me saying I have 12 kids? I just laughed and then he said "sorry it's habit...obviously you don't use birth control!" He then proceeds to tell me that if we plan on having any more children that from a medical stand point we should get on it! Wow! I have never had a doctor know I have 12 kids and then recommend I get on it, to make another one. I was cracking up....until he added "because at your advancing age, medically you are near the end of what we consider safer child bearing age"......At this point I was ready to look for the exit....he was pretty much telling me I was getting old, and I think I would rather be called fat than old!
As I was leaving, I was trying to put a positive spin on the whole event (as I usually do), so here it is.
I addressed issues that had been ignored for years.
I didn't have to actually get on a scale.
The best part of the appointment was.....I didn't have to put on one of those stupid little paper gowns!
(I do have to come back in 1-2 months for a FULL physical exam, but hey maybe that will give me time to drop a few more pounds!)